Many people ask EMILY:
“Hey, EMILY? How did you learn Japanese?”
Truth be told, EMILY can’t really answer that question properly. But EMILY does recommend a few things for people wanting to learn the language. Because she is not a professional, these are not professional tips. So please do not take them too seriously.
First of all, go to the library and check out every book you can possibly find on Japanese. If there are 100 of them, get all 100. Books are good, kids. Books teach people how to reed good and do other things good too. Take the books home, lock yourself up in your bedroom with them, stack up all the books and then pile them up in front of your door. This will create a barrier of heaviness so that no one can bother you while you’re studying. Who uses books anymore, anyway?
Now get a Nintendo DS. It can be the original one or the Lite, or even the DSi. The original DS is kind of heavy though, so maybe you shouldn’t use that one for long periods of time unless you want carpel tunnel. Once you have your DS in hand, start playing “My Japanese Coach”. I highly recommend playing it for at least 5 hours at a time without eating or going to the bathroom. Well, technically since the DS is portable you –could- carry it to the bathroom without much trouble, so forget the bathroom part. Play all of the games over and over until your brain feels like it’s going to melt and you begin to lose the boundaries in your mind between ‘reality’ and ‘My Japanese Coach’.
Or, as an alternative, you can listen to JPop music… Preferably SMAP or Arashi—any of those good boy bands whose sweet voices and lyrics could lull even a beast into slumber. Memorize their lyrics and sing their songs constantly—especially around the dinner table. Parents appreciate nothing more than hearing SMAP’s record-topping ‘Triangle’.
…Or just go to class, kids.
